Dr Hienz Doofenshmirtz and Peri the Platygirl
by Mysterious Moonlight Maiden
Summary: A REALLY old fic involving Perry and Doof. I wrote this when I was 11, so... Yeah, this was written before I was 100% okay with gayness, but I still shipped Perryshmirtz, so... Yeah. But I edited this story a lot of times, and each chapter is a different version written at different point in my life. Rating because of mild violence and my paranoidness. May add other versions later
1. first- written at age 11

Perry the Platypus burst into "Doofenshmirks Evil Incorporated" , breaking a skylight and landing on the floor using an extra hand to steady himself... witch happened to land on a button springing a trap. this was an extreamally unusual trap, even on Doof's standards. it seemed to be constructed of molten fake animal parts. iron, plastic, stuffed- it was quite a mess.  
"Perry the Platypus, your early!" Perry rolled his eyes.  
"but don't think that means I am not finished! Behold! the species-changeinator!" out on a platform rose a medium- sized gun with a button and a dial, the back panel looking a whole lot like Perry's tail and the front looking like an open series of multicolored panels meeting at the center.  
"You see, Perry the Platypus, the machine rearranges your genetic code and manipulates your cells, therefore changing your species! I realized that if you weren't a platypus, and were, oh, lets say, a mouse, or a fly, or, better yet, a single-cell organism, you won't be able to stop me from taking over the entire Tri-State Area!"  
Perry was shocked. Doof was actually one step ahead of him. but there was no way Perry was going to give up. he looked for a weak spot in the molten animal ball, finally finding one in a section of stuffed animals. he ripped the pieces apart, freeing himself.  
"Perry the Platypus, how did you escape?"Perry taunted Dr. Doofenshmirks, holding the trap in one hand. Doof raced towards Perry, arms out as if to grab him. but Perry sidestepped, hurling Hindz into the trap.  
"oh, it's on now!" Hindz grabbed an iron hammer-headed shark from the trap and ripped it out, hurling it at Perry, who tore out a sword fish. and this is where the real battle begins.  
"AGHHHHHHHHH!" Hindz let a battle cry burst out of his mouth as he threw his species-changeinator into his pocket and rushed towards Perry, wielding his iron hammer-headed shark. Perry leapt and, with perfect timing and precision, slashed the tin sword fish, opening the pocket of Dr. Hindz Doofenshmirks, rendering him unable to use his species-changeinator  
"My species-changeinator!" Perry used the golden moment to hit Doof in the back with the hilt of his sword fish.  
"OW! Oh, wait, now I don't slouch... This is awesome!" Perry rolled his eyes.  
"now, where where we? oh yeah..." Hindz took a swing of his hammer, witch Perry blocked with his sword. the following fight was a fast-paced battle between the two. Perry let his instincts take over the furious fight. suddenly, Perry tripped on a discarded piece of tubing.

what happened next seemed to happen in slow motion.  
Perry could see everything with crystal clarity.  
It was as if the world was mocking him.  
Mocking him because he could do nothing to change what was going to happen next.  
Perry was falling.  
If he was falling from a large height, he could do something.  
But that wasn't the case.  
He was falling toward the species-changeinator.  
before his head crushed the machine, it let out  
one  
last  
ray  
of  
life.  
Perry stood up.  
the beam hit a mirror, then bounced back.  
and hit Perry.  
time returned to normal as the beam hit Perry. Electricity coursed through his veins as his growl turned to a real scream. What the heck was happening to him?!  
Hindz could see what was happening. Perry grew taller and lither, his skin seemed to shoot back into his skin, and shoot out of his scull. as the fur retracted into his body, a blue dress and yellow shoes seemed to replace them. His eyes grew bigger, his face grew rounder. Suddenly, he didn't seem like a he any longer. A young woman took the place of the platypus, standing there for only a moment before she fell, unconscious, into his arms.  
"P-p-Perry?"she just lay there. slowly and hesitantly, Doof leaned over her, raised his shaking hand, and... slapped her.  
"wh- wha? Doof?" Hindz held up two fingers.  
"how many fingers am I holding up?" Peri squinted.  
"three?"Hindz face held worry.  
"Doof? Why can I talk? and..." Peri tried to stand up, only to fall back down-  
"Why am I so tall? And..." Peri looked down-  
"Why is it so breezy?" That last one made Doof raise an eyebrow.  
"At least you're wearing something. Actually, now that I think of it, how DID that happen?" Peri looked at Hindz.  
"Carl. Light-triggered outfit-izer. Long story." Doof scratched his head.  
"Man, that kid's weird. okay, how many fingers am I holding up now?"  
"two."Doof sighed in relief.  
"okay. Your vision has cleared up. That means your better now. try standing up." Peri smiled.  
"with pleasure." In one swift movement, Peri grabbed her sword, stood up, and had the tip at Doof's throat.  
"I may have no clue what I am, but I can still kick your butt!" Doof blew a strand of hair back in place.  
"Your a teenage girl, Perry. Around 17, I'd say. Actually, I don't even know why I put that setting there. Why did I put that setting there?" Peri pushed the sword closer to his throat.  
"Change me back. Now." Doof pushed the sword away.  
"I don't even know why you even changed. I made it so that, just in case, if the machine were to be destroyed, everything it had hit would change back to the way it was. The machine was already destroyed, so you shouldn't have changed." then Doof thought for a bit.  
"try to change back." Peri raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and took off her hat. immediately, she took the form of a mindless platypus.  
"Perry? Where'd ya go?" Perry changed back to Peri, and, to his surprise, hugged Doof, squealing "it worked! And since you're plan is foiled-" she turned to the screen- "don't try this at home, kids!" and ran to a pole connecting the apartment building with another and swooped the sword under her feet, using the sword as a skate board, got away from Doof, who was shouting  
"Curse you Peri the platyperson!" in the backround.  
" just like old times." AGENT P!


	2. Second- written at age 13

**Hey! This chapter is a rewriting of the story that I did when I was 13, and is, in my opinion, better written than the previous story. Can be considered a one-shot... Yeah, this is stupid. Enjoy, I guess.**

I woke up confused and uncertain as to who and where I was. Then I remembered, and wondered what the heck I was doing in Doof's apartment, SLEEPING! I jumped up, ready for battle, and vaguely noticed that I was... taller for some reason. I decided that it could wait. My nemesis was the priority. I found him, sitting on the couch, looking like he had seen a ghost and was trying to get over it. He then noticed me and screamed. I rushed up to him and was about to deliver a punch... when I saw my hand. It was smooth, and a gentle shade of ivory. Not fur-covered and blue. I looked down at my body. Someone had thrown a lab coat on me, covering a feminine figure with lean muscles and more smooth, ivory skin. Thankfully, it was buttoned up. Surrounding me was a curtain of long, blue hair. I looked up at Hienz, who was trembling in the corner of the couch. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pinned him against the wall, staring him down with an angry glare, and growled. He got the message.  
"I have no idea what happened to you, Perry the Platypus! Honest! I meant to turn you into a fly, not a human girl!"


	3. Third- written at age 15

Perry the Platypus burst into "Doofenshmirks Evil Incorporated", breaking a skylight and landing on the floor using an extra hand to steady himself... which happened to land on a button springing a trap. this was an extremely unusual trap, even by Doof's standards. it seemed to be a spherical cage constructed of fake animal parts. iron, plastic, stuffed- it was quite a mess.  
"Perry the Platypus, your early!" Perry growled in response.  
"Ah, no matter. I was just waiting around for you to show up anyways. So... BEHOLD! The species-changeinator!" A platform rose, revealing a medium- sized comically proportioned and colorful gun with a button and a dial.  
"You see, Perry the Platypus, With one blast, the machine rearranges your genetic code and manipulates your cells, therefore changing your species! I realized that if you weren't a platypus, but something just a little bit smaller and easier to fight, such as, say, a mouse, or a fly, you won't be able to stop me from taking over the entire Tri-State Area! Now, hold still..."  
Perry had no intention of staying there to become a test subject for another one of the scientist's evil inventions. He looked for a weak spot in the animal cage, finding one in a section of stuffed animals. he ripped the pieces apart, freeing himself.  
"Perry the Platypus, how did you escape?" Perry took a swordfish in hand and ripped it out of the odd trap, before hurling the trap at the evil brunette, who was knocked down by the strange ball.  
"oh, it's on now!" Hindz stood up and ripped an iron hammer-headed shark from the trap.

"AGHHHHHHHHH!" Hindz let a battle cry burst out of his mouth as he threw his species-changeinator into his pocket and rushed towards Perry, wielding his iron hammer-headed shark violently. Perry leapt and, with perfect timing and precision, slashed the tin swordfish, tearing open the pocket of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz's lab coat. The device clattered to the floor.  
"My species-changeinator!" Perry used the golden moment to hit Doof in the small of his back with the hilt of his sword fish.  
"OUCH! Why, you little-" An angry glint in his eye, Hindz took a swing at the platypus with his hammer, which Perry blocked with his strange weapon. the following fight was a fast-paced battle between the two. Perry let his instincts take over the furious fight. suddenly, Perry tripped on a discarded piece of tubing. Perry was falling, his head on a collision course with the discarded the species-changeinator. Before his head crushed the machine, it let out one final ray of life. The beam hit a mirror, then bounced back.

and hit Perry.  
Electricity coursed through his veins. He let out a pained platypus gurgle, which turned to a human scream. What the heck was happening to him?!

Doof POV

Hindz watched Perry grew taller, his fur shooting back into his skin, and growing rapidly out of his skull. As the fur retracted into his body, a blue dress and yellow shoes suddenly flashed mysteriously into place around his figure. His eyes grew bigger, his face rounder, gaining a defined chin. His body grew soft curves, muscles rippling under the skin as his trained body became more and more human. Suddenly, he wasn't a platypus... wasn't a _he_... A young woman took the place of the fierce platypus which once stood before the Druselstinian man. The girl stood there for only a moment, dizzy and swaying, before she fell, unconscious, into his arms.  
"P-p-Perry?" The girl who was once the platypus he knew and hated just lay there, eyes closed, in his arms. Slowly and hesitantly, Doof leaned over her, raising his shaking hand to her face... and slapped her.  
"wh- wha? Doof?" Hindz held up two fingers.  
"how many fingers am I holding up?" The strange girl deadpanned. Yup, that was Perry all right.  
"Doof, you know I can't... wait a minute..." her face turned from annoyance to confusion.  
"Doofenshmirtz, Why can I talk? And..." Peri tried to stand up, only to fall back down into his arms, dizzy-  
"Why am I so... tall? And..." Perry looked down-  
"Why is it suddenly so breezy in here?" Doof blushed.  
"At-at least you're wearing something! Which... is very odd...How come you're wearing clothes, Perry the platypus?" Perry glared up at at Hindz.  
"Carl. Light-triggered outfit-izer. He installed one in all the agent's fedoras after an incident involving agent G and a bowl of spaghetti. Long story." Doof scratched his head.  
"Man, that kid's weird. Okay, how many fingers am I holding up now?"  
"Two. Duh."Doof sighed in relief.  
"okay, you don't seem have a concussion. Now, can you try standing up by yourself? This is, as you would say... a little awkward..." Perry smirked.  
"With pleasure." In one swift movement, Perry grabbed her sword, stood up, and held the tip of the blade at Doofenshmirtz's throat.  
"I may have no clue what I am, but I can still kick your butt!" Doof blew a strand of hair back in place.  
"Well, You are _obviously_ a human woman, Perry the Platy... girl. Must have been the "Human Female" setting on my -inator. Actually, I don't even know why I put that setting there. Why did I put that setting there?" Peri pushed the sword closer to his throat, gritting her teeth.  
"Change me back. Now." Doof pushed the sword away.  
"I don't even know why you changed. I made it so that, just in case, everything it had hit would change back to the way it was if the machine were destroyed. The machine was already smashed to peices, so you shouldn't have changed." then Doof thought for a bit.  
"Can you try to change back by yourself?" Peri raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and took off her hat and fell on all fours, taking the appearance of a mindless creature. Immediately, she took the form of a platypus.  
"Perry? Where'd ya go?" Perry changed back to agent P, and, to the evil genius's surprise, hugged Doof tightly, squealing "it worked! And since your plan is already foiled..." As the teal-haired girl walked out of the apartment, Doof found himself staring after her. Once she left, he smiled and shook his head, mumbling under his breath, "Curse you, Peri the platygirl."

**Okay, so I fixed some grammar issues that were bothering me. And changed the story a bit. It's actually pretty good now. Who'da thunk? Enjoy!**


End file.
